I hope you have had a chance to review the first 13 chapters of the CommFlow System. I am sure you have begun to see how the system works to improve your overall fitness, flexibility and resourcefulness when it comes to communication and establishing a communications flow. After reviewing and practicing around the first two keys "Community" and "Intent", I would like to drill down on the third key called "Coherence".
I have chosen the term coherence to encompass and group together a number of aspects that come into play when it comes to effectiveness of communication. Coherence relates to the assumption that when communication is delivered in a consistent, authentic, continuous, credible and structured way, it tends to be more efficient. And yet, while this seems like common sense, many people I speak to are not doing enough to ensure that they are "coherent" when they approach communication flows. Here are some tips and an exercise to follow. (Note: At this point in the course, it would be fantastic to have your mentor chosen. Don't worry if you have not signed anyone up just yet, but pick someone in your circle of friends whom you not only trust to give you judgement free feedback, but who also has a keen sense of observation.
Consistency. One of the main elements of coherence is consistency. As you begin to establish a flow, establish your assumptions, your intent, as well as a number of other things such as the time available for the communication and the mode of operations. Once you set down the rules, stick to them where you can. If you are changing an assumption, especially when you are changing your mind, state it clearly. Don't assume the other party can read your mind, even though they might constantly try to finish your sentences for you. The use and awareness of body language is an other key aspect of consistency. I do not intend to rewrite the 1000's of books written on body language. My tip is to try to watch out for for some key signals your body might be sending that contradict what you are intending to do. Typical tell tale signals are: (1) Arms crossed in front of body, (2) Closed fist vs open palms, (3) Looking down while answering a question, (4) Arms raised and crossed behind neck or back of head. Just observe when you are using these gestures, note down what they mean to you, and try to use them consciously to stay coherent with your communication.
Authenticity. Authentic communication works better to establish "flow". For example, if you are trying to be funny in order to "break the ice" but you are really in a rather lousy mood yourself, your joke will probably not "fly". If you are not a programmer, but you are speaking to a programmer audience, don't try to artificially "up your geek factor". A techie audience will instantly call your bluff and lose interest. If you want to inspire someone, remember some things that inspired you and tell that story from your perspective. When it comes to clothing, dress for the occasion, but be yourself. After all, whereever you go, there you are. Your audience will appreciate a communication that flows from your core, and not from some "method acting shell" you have constructed for the communication. Remember a rule from the excellent communications discipline called Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) called: "We Cannot Not Communicate". This means, even when we are saying nothing, our entire state of being, clothing, posture, pheromones, even what we avoid to say, our tone of voice, etc. will carry a message to our audience. They will instantly and intuitively judge the authenticity of our message.
Continuity. Continuous communication is related to consistency but it introduces a time dimension. Most people do not "get it" in one go. They often need repetition, and sometimes a different medium to experience the message in their preferred model of understanding. Ensure that you can have continuity in your communication flow. This is where meeting protocols and summaries come in handy to repeat what was communicated. It also helps to set up a regular flow of information to cater to the fact that things might change over time. And while consistency might be broken for a good reason (new information has come in), continuity can still be established and will do a lot to establish the impression of coherence.
Credibility. Coherence and credibility are related. Among other things, the audience will evaluate your coherence based on how credible you are. That is how some world renowned experts can sometimes babble completely incoherent "gobbledegook" for minutes on end, and will still be rated as coherent. This is because the audience will blame their own "non-expertness" for not understanding the blabber, and will assume that the world renowned expert surely will know "what they are talking about". How can you establish your credibility? Quotes, references, examples and experts in the room can all help you establish your credibility.
Structure. Coherence and structure are related as well. If you want to prepare for a communication, remember a story you liked from your childhood. All good stories have a fairly simple structure in that they have a beginning, a middle and an end. They are also usually structured around chapters, and main events in the story line. Think about how you can bring a clear and simple structure into your next communication.
Exercise for Coherence
We are now already able to combine three keys to Understanding and Agreement into a single exercise.
As you prepare for a communication, not only check for the the aspect of community (do you know your audience) and Intent (do you know what result you are looking for), but also make a short check on how you will achieve coherence in your communication.
- what are the 3 to 5 things you must stay consistent about in your communication?
- what is the most authentic way to communicate in this context (what's your personal angle)?
- how can you establish continuity (what came before, what will come after)?
- what is the best way to establish credibility for the communication (examples, experts, facts, .. )
- how can you best structure your communication to be simple and clear?
While this seems a lot of things to remember, pls rest assured that we do most of these things intuitively in most cases. It is just in our fast moving and stressful world, we tend to forget these basics. In addition, once we start using these techniques consciously, we can vastly improve our communication effectiveness.
Note: Please try to identify your communications mentor or coach before you move on to chapter 15 "Clarity"
I have chosen the term coherence to encompass and group together a number of aspects that come into play when it comes to effectiveness of communication. Coherence relates to the assumption that when communication is delivered in a consistent, authentic, continuous, credible and structured way, it tends to be more efficient. And yet, while this seems like common sense, many people I speak to are not doing enough to ensure that they are "coherent" when they approach communication flows. Here are some tips and an exercise to follow. (Note: At this point in the course, it would be fantastic to have your mentor chosen. Don't worry if you have not signed anyone up just yet, but pick someone in your circle of friends whom you not only trust to give you judgement free feedback, but who also has a keen sense of observation.
Consistency. One of the main elements of coherence is consistency. As you begin to establish a flow, establish your assumptions, your intent, as well as a number of other things such as the time available for the communication and the mode of operations. Once you set down the rules, stick to them where you can. If you are changing an assumption, especially when you are changing your mind, state it clearly. Don't assume the other party can read your mind, even though they might constantly try to finish your sentences for you. The use and awareness of body language is an other key aspect of consistency. I do not intend to rewrite the 1000's of books written on body language. My tip is to try to watch out for for some key signals your body might be sending that contradict what you are intending to do. Typical tell tale signals are: (1) Arms crossed in front of body, (2) Closed fist vs open palms, (3) Looking down while answering a question, (4) Arms raised and crossed behind neck or back of head. Just observe when you are using these gestures, note down what they mean to you, and try to use them consciously to stay coherent with your communication.
Authenticity. Authentic communication works better to establish "flow". For example, if you are trying to be funny in order to "break the ice" but you are really in a rather lousy mood yourself, your joke will probably not "fly". If you are not a programmer, but you are speaking to a programmer audience, don't try to artificially "up your geek factor". A techie audience will instantly call your bluff and lose interest. If you want to inspire someone, remember some things that inspired you and tell that story from your perspective. When it comes to clothing, dress for the occasion, but be yourself. After all, whereever you go, there you are. Your audience will appreciate a communication that flows from your core, and not from some "method acting shell" you have constructed for the communication. Remember a rule from the excellent communications discipline called Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) called: "We Cannot Not Communicate". This means, even when we are saying nothing, our entire state of being, clothing, posture, pheromones, even what we avoid to say, our tone of voice, etc. will carry a message to our audience. They will instantly and intuitively judge the authenticity of our message.
Continuity. Continuous communication is related to consistency but it introduces a time dimension. Most people do not "get it" in one go. They often need repetition, and sometimes a different medium to experience the message in their preferred model of understanding. Ensure that you can have continuity in your communication flow. This is where meeting protocols and summaries come in handy to repeat what was communicated. It also helps to set up a regular flow of information to cater to the fact that things might change over time. And while consistency might be broken for a good reason (new information has come in), continuity can still be established and will do a lot to establish the impression of coherence.
Credibility. Coherence and credibility are related. Among other things, the audience will evaluate your coherence based on how credible you are. That is how some world renowned experts can sometimes babble completely incoherent "gobbledegook" for minutes on end, and will still be rated as coherent. This is because the audience will blame their own "non-expertness" for not understanding the blabber, and will assume that the world renowned expert surely will know "what they are talking about". How can you establish your credibility? Quotes, references, examples and experts in the room can all help you establish your credibility.
Structure. Coherence and structure are related as well. If you want to prepare for a communication, remember a story you liked from your childhood. All good stories have a fairly simple structure in that they have a beginning, a middle and an end. They are also usually structured around chapters, and main events in the story line. Think about how you can bring a clear and simple structure into your next communication.
Exercise for Coherence
We are now already able to combine three keys to Understanding and Agreement into a single exercise.
As you prepare for a communication, not only check for the the aspect of community (do you know your audience) and Intent (do you know what result you are looking for), but also make a short check on how you will achieve coherence in your communication.
- what are the 3 to 5 things you must stay consistent about in your communication?
- what is the most authentic way to communicate in this context (what's your personal angle)?
- how can you establish continuity (what came before, what will come after)?
- what is the best way to establish credibility for the communication (examples, experts, facts, .. )
- how can you best structure your communication to be simple and clear?
While this seems a lot of things to remember, pls rest assured that we do most of these things intuitively in most cases. It is just in our fast moving and stressful world, we tend to forget these basics. In addition, once we start using these techniques consciously, we can vastly improve our communication effectiveness.
Note: Please try to identify your communications mentor or coach before you move on to chapter 15 "Clarity"
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