A lot of people are "naturals" in communication. They easily unlock the gates of community, intent and coherence in their discourse and, above all, they are clear in their communication. Clarity is a key prerequisite for being understood, and for reaching true agreement. Yet, although many people would agree with the importance of "clarity" in communication, it seems to be very hard to achieve. Why is that?
I believe the key reason why lots of communication is not clear is because people either make too many assumptions and are mostly unaware of the assumptions they are making. Here is my favorite example:
>>>
Boss to employee: "Call Jim this week, ok?
Employee to Boss: "Sure"
- 2 days later.
Boss to employee: "Did you call Jim?"
Employee: "Yes"
Boss: "And"
Employee: "He was not there."
<<<
What happened here? The instruction "Call Jim" is crystal clear, isn't it? Well obviously the boss made that assumption that the instruction would be interpreted as "Please ensure you get to speak with Jim this week". That would have been more clear. However, the instruction also did not include the topic of the intended call, or the reason for the call as in: "call Jim about what?" And so on and so forth. A lot of conversations are conducted this way because we simply do not take the time to stop and think through what we are trying to accomplish. There is a reason why in the military an instruction is often repeated by the person that is being instructed. In stress situations its is even more important to be crystal clear in your communication.
Another example we have probably all experienced in daily life:
Spouse 1: "The trash bin is full"
Spouse 2: "I know"
This discourse usually leads to conflict, since the Spouse 1 communications should have read "Please take out the trash". But since Spouse 1 expected Spouse 2 to automatically make that inference, no communication happened. The result is a miffed Spouse 1, and a trash bin that is still full.
Another very common line of communication you might hear in everyday life goes like this
A:" Where is the TV remote control?"
B: "Probably exactly where you put it last evening when you watched the late nite movie"
The communication breakdown occurs along the lack of clarity in the first line. Instead of saying "Where is the TV remote control" - which carries the assumption that B knows where it is, or even misplaced it - one could have said:
"I can't find the remote anywhere, have you seen it by any chance?" .. which might have lead to a different outcome and response because it provides context and a clear opportunity for a yes or no answer.
Entire books have been written on the concept of clarity, and I don't intend to rewrite them, but here are some tips of how you can structure a communicaton for clarity along three concepts:
1. Think about the outcome of the communication. what do you want to accomplish? How do you know when the desired effect has happened.? Be sure to include that in your communication. Most communications are very fuzzy in terms the desired outcome, hence the lack of clarity.
2. Check your message for assumptions, jargon, abbreviations, clutter and above all .. emotional baggage. Does your audience need or prefer the jargon? Can you say the same thing with simple words? What implications are you making when you are starting the dialog? And what are you REALLY trying to say?
3. How will you ask for feedback? (More about feedback in the next chapter) Feedback is the ONLY way you can know if your communication was understood.
You can do a mental check on the above points with the three words "Result, Simplicity, Feedback". Next time you write a message or try to engage in a dialogue, apply this clarity check and observe what happens.
I look forward to your feedback on this.
I believe the key reason why lots of communication is not clear is because people either make too many assumptions and are mostly unaware of the assumptions they are making. Here is my favorite example:
>>>
Boss to employee: "Call Jim this week, ok?
Employee to Boss: "Sure"
- 2 days later.
Boss to employee: "Did you call Jim?"
Employee: "Yes"
Boss: "And"
Employee: "He was not there."
<<<
What happened here? The instruction "Call Jim" is crystal clear, isn't it? Well obviously the boss made that assumption that the instruction would be interpreted as "Please ensure you get to speak with Jim this week". That would have been more clear. However, the instruction also did not include the topic of the intended call, or the reason for the call as in: "call Jim about what?" And so on and so forth. A lot of conversations are conducted this way because we simply do not take the time to stop and think through what we are trying to accomplish. There is a reason why in the military an instruction is often repeated by the person that is being instructed. In stress situations its is even more important to be crystal clear in your communication.
Another example we have probably all experienced in daily life:
Spouse 1: "The trash bin is full"
Spouse 2: "I know"
This discourse usually leads to conflict, since the Spouse 1 communications should have read "Please take out the trash". But since Spouse 1 expected Spouse 2 to automatically make that inference, no communication happened. The result is a miffed Spouse 1, and a trash bin that is still full.
Another very common line of communication you might hear in everyday life goes like this
A:" Where is the TV remote control?"
B: "Probably exactly where you put it last evening when you watched the late nite movie"
The communication breakdown occurs along the lack of clarity in the first line. Instead of saying "Where is the TV remote control" - which carries the assumption that B knows where it is, or even misplaced it - one could have said:
"I can't find the remote anywhere, have you seen it by any chance?" .. which might have lead to a different outcome and response because it provides context and a clear opportunity for a yes or no answer.
Entire books have been written on the concept of clarity, and I don't intend to rewrite them, but here are some tips of how you can structure a communicaton for clarity along three concepts:
1. Think about the outcome of the communication. what do you want to accomplish? How do you know when the desired effect has happened.? Be sure to include that in your communication. Most communications are very fuzzy in terms the desired outcome, hence the lack of clarity.
2. Check your message for assumptions, jargon, abbreviations, clutter and above all .. emotional baggage. Does your audience need or prefer the jargon? Can you say the same thing with simple words? What implications are you making when you are starting the dialog? And what are you REALLY trying to say?
3. How will you ask for feedback? (More about feedback in the next chapter) Feedback is the ONLY way you can know if your communication was understood.
You can do a mental check on the above points with the three words "Result, Simplicity, Feedback". Next time you write a message or try to engage in a dialogue, apply this clarity check and observe what happens.
I look forward to your feedback on this.
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